Daughters Versus Sons

by RajaRajeshwari Arenga

As a mother of a son and a daughter I often wonder if I am being fair to both of them. Not just in my parenting, expression of affections and my interactions but deep in my thoughts and the perceptions that I hold. This is an attempt to share this eternal internal discussion.
“Daughters are the best!” A statement I hear from many…
Over and over again, they repeat it like a litany,
They offer underlying reasons oh so many,
All lined with indisputable facts, to that statement lead.
So daughters surely must be the best, I almost did concede…
Albeit with a punch of instinctive reluctance,
But something about it did not make sense,
And not just because I’m a mother of a son too,
Examine this statement I must, projected as being so true.
I’m compelled to debate it, the opposing argument however firm,
On principle I just had to and not on a mere whim,
‘Cause now where does that statement leave him,
With his sibling almost wearing the title of the best!
So I agonized over this question like it was a critical test.
And I carefully made a mental chart,
Began to analyze thoughts straight from my heart.
For a mother, can there be equality in disparity?
I dug deeper into my psyche for clarity.
Can I arrive at a conclusion that is utterly fair?
Follow me on this journey of discovery if it is a predicament you too share…
 ~
A daughter surely offers comfort by just being there,
And oh! she does it with such sweet flair…
Tuned by nature or nurture, to say…exactly what and when I need to hear,
While my confusion and pain he does silently bear,
Till he decodes the riddle and offers a solution very clear,
With his triumphant and winning smile, oh! so very dear!
 ~
She validates and supports my path with affirmatives,
To fix any situation, calmly he comes up with alternatives.
 ~
With clarity and openness, complex feelings she readily shares,
To step out of my little shell…me, he openly dares.
 ~
With patience and approval she shows her unconditional care,
With provocative validation he proclaims me a mother beyond compare.
 ~
She listens and reacts with uncanny understanding;
He instigates me and challenges my familiar line of thinking.
 ~
Her well-intended sarcasm, when prodded, always finds its mark…
He offers blunt criticism so precise and never off the mark!
 ~
She is ever ready to lighten my mood with a jolly walk in the park,
He is ever prepared to pounce on those intending me harm with the swiftness of a shark!
 ~
Mistakes are just that…not to be brooded over, she tells me.
He assures me that silly blunders are what make me as normal as normal can be.
 ~
While she can readily offer a shoulder to cry on,
He can immediately extend a shoulder to lean on.
 ~
Acceptance and praise on me, she generously showers;
Kindness in actions and expressions, without holding back, he freely offers.
 ~
She is always ready to gently explain her differing point of view at length,
While he is a rare combination of compassion and strength.
 ~
He defends me with the same ferocity my stand he challenges,
She supports me with the same wild intensity my word she questions.
 ~
But just when I believed I had slotted and figured them both out,
They go on to surprise me, as my observations they unintentionally flout,
What I thought applied to him, I now see can apply to her too!
And the other way round also does surely hold true.
 ~
I realize for today enough of my perceptions have been minced.
Thoroughly convinced am I, that not now and not ever, will I be thoroughly convinced,
As to which child should wear the title of the best.
So I arrive at a temporary conclusion,
Which I’m sure will be prone to more than one revision.
A daughter may be the best for you,
But a son is the one who can bring out the best in you!
 ~
©2016 RajaRajeshwari N
First published on http://maaofallblogs.com/2016/12/daughter-vs-son.html/

 

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