As a mother of a son and a daughter I often wonder if I am being fair to both of them. Not just in my parenting, expression of affections and my interactions but deep in my thoughts and the perceptions that I hold. This is an attempt to share this eternal internal discussion.
“Daughters are the best!” A statement I hear from many…
Over and over again, they repeat it like a litany,
They offer underlying reasons oh so many,
All lined with indisputable facts, to that statement lead.
So daughters surely must be the best, I almost did concede…
Albeit with a punch of instinctive reluctance,
But something about it did not make sense,
And not just because I’m a mother of a son too,
Examine this statement I must, projected as being so true.
I’m compelled to debate it, the opposing argument however firm,
On principle I just had to and not on a mere whim,
‘Cause now where does that statement leave him,
With his sibling almost wearing the title of the best!
So I agonized over this question like it was a critical test.
And I carefully made a mental chart,
Began to analyze thoughts straight from my heart.
For a mother, can there be equality in disparity?
I dug deeper into my psyche for clarity.
Can I arrive at a conclusion that is utterly fair?
Follow me on this journey of discovery if it is a predicament you too share…
A daughter surely offers comfort by just being there,
And oh! she does it with such sweet flair…
Tuned by nature or nurture, to say…exactly what and when I need to hear,
While my confusion and pain he does silently bear,
Till he decodes the riddle and offers a solution very clear,
With his triumphant and winning smile, oh! so very dear!
She validates and supports my path with affirmatives,
To fix any situation, calmly he comes up with alternatives.
With clarity and openness, complex feelings she readily shares,
To step out of my little shell…me, he openly dares.
With patience and approval she shows her unconditional care,
With provocative validation he proclaims me a mother beyond compare.
She listens and reacts with uncanny understanding;
He instigates me and challenges my familiar line of thinking.
Her well-intended sarcasm, when prodded, always finds its mark…
He offers blunt criticism so precise and never off the mark!
She is ever ready to lighten my mood with a jolly walk in the park,
He is ever prepared to pounce on those intending me harm with the swiftness of a shark!
Mistakes are just that…not to be brooded over, she tells me.
He assures me that silly blunders are what make me as normal as normal can be.
While she can readily offer a shoulder to cry on,
He can immediately extend a shoulder to lean on.
Acceptance and praise on me, she generously showers;
Kindness in actions and expressions, without holding back, he freely offers.
She is always ready to gently explain her differing point of view at length,
While he is a rare combination of compassion and strength.
He defends me with the same ferocity my stand he challenges,
She supports me with the same wild intensity my word she questions.
But just when I believed I had slotted and figured them both out,
They go on to surprise me, as my observations they unintentionally flout,
What I thought applied to him, I now see can apply to her too!
And the other way round also does surely hold true.
I realize for today enough of my perceptions have been minced.
Thoroughly convinced am I, that not now and not ever, will I be thoroughly convinced,
As to which child should wear the title of the best.
So I arrive at a temporary conclusion,
Which I’m sure will be prone to more than one revision.
A daughter may be the best for you,
But a son is the one who can bring out the best in you!
©2016 RajaRajeshwari N
First published on http://maaofallblogs.com/2016/12/daughter-vs-son.html/